k-ID Talks! Episode 2

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When an 11-year-old student named Jake started chatting with a new friend on Minecraft, he thought he had met a 13-year-old girl who shared his love for gaming. In reality, he had been targeted by a 42-year-old predator posing as a peer. The situation escalated to private conversations on Skype, where the perpetrator manipulated Jake into unsafe interactions.

For Trent Ray, co-founder of the Cyber Safety Project, this was a wake-up call. It showed how quickly children can be groomed online and how unprepared they often are to recognize and respond to these dangers.

Trent realized that simply telling kids to “stay safe” wasn’t enough. They needed to understand why online safety rules existed. “The first time we ran a cyber safety session in schools, a student told us, ‘This is the first time anyone has explained why it’s not safe online,’” Trent recalls. That moment shaped his mission: empowering kids, parents, and educators with the knowledge and tools to navigate digital spaces safely, without relying on fear or bans.

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‍Why explaining the “why” matters

Many children hear safety rules like “don’t talk to strangers” or “never share personal information,” but without context, these rules can feel arbitrary. Trent emphasizes that helping kids understand the reasoning behind these guidelines makes them more likely to follow them.

“If kids don’t understand why their parents are concerned, they won’t take online safety seriously,” Trent explains. “When they do understand, they become partners in protecting themselves.”

Through the Cyber Safety Project, Trent and his team have made it their mission to give kids this foundational understanding, ensuring they feel equipped, not just restricted, when navigating online spaces.

Small adjustments can build trust

One of the most common conflicts between parents and kids comes from misunderstandings around gaming. “Games today don’t pause. If a parent says, ‘Turn it off now,’ it can create frustration,” Trent explains. “Small changes, like saying, ‘Finish this round’, show kids their experiences are valued while still setting boundaries.”

Language and tone matter. Simple shifts like these can build trust, reduce arguments, and encourage kids to feel heard and respected in their digital spaces.

Engage without being an expert

Parents often feel they need to master every app or game their child uses, but Trent believes the key lies in showing interest, not expertise. “Sit down and let your kids teach you their favorite game. It’s not about being good; it’s about showing interest and creating opportunities to talk about safety naturally.”

By joining in, even briefly, parents can open doors to conversations about how to respond to risky behavior online, like inappropriate chats or friend requests.

Include kids in the solution

Looking ahead, Trent sees the importance of including kids’ voices in shaping online safety programs. “They’re the ones experiencing these spaces every day. We need to ask them what works, what doesn’t, and what they want trusted adults to know.”

When kids feel heard and empowered, they’re more likely to make safer choices and take ownership of their digital habits.

Connection, not control

For Trent, safer online experiences start with trust and connection. “Banning technology doesn’t work. Show kids you care, be present, and create an environment where they feel confident coming to you when something doesn’t feel right.”

By staying curious, having open conversations, and making small changes in how technology is approached, parents can build the trust kids need to navigate digital spaces with confidence.

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